so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
