Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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