If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
