Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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