its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
