i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
