This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
