it's too hot outside to masturbate.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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