i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
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