Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
i drank out of a bidet.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
