it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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