either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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