They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
