is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
