Duck Duck Cougar?
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
