Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Randomize
