he wants to bone in the snuggie
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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