when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
