think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
organizing the empties. That sober.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Randomize
