So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
