Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
