the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
my liver is dry heaving
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
