Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Randomize
