yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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