Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
