we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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