Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize