just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
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