Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize