Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
honey bunches of taint.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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