so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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