How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
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