So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize
