omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
