Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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