Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
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