Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
