he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
