We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Man, jail baloney is awful.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Randomize
