Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
