Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
How naked do you want me to be?
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize
