In the future we'll all be gay
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
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