well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
