let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
