I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
