In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
