If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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