Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Randomize
