if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
