He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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