i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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