i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
