i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
