It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I just forgot I was standing up.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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