My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
im holly from the hills drunk
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize