He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
