k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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