why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Randomize
