Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
we made out on top of his cat.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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