I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
