There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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